The Weight of Your Wings
by CeciLovesReading
Summary: The wings of an angel have many purposes. They are a way of transportation; they are protection. Castiel loves his wings. They are strong and beautiful. They are a symbol of his power, of his holiness. And Castiel would undoubtedly give up all that power for a man named Dean Winchester.


It had all began with the stares.

Deep blue eyes met apple green ones and stayed there for more time than socially acceptable.

It happened almost every day, Sam had noticed. But he wouldn't say anything.

Then breeze-like touching.

So soft it could've gone unnoticed. A pat to the shoulder or the slight brushing of arms when they walked side by side.

And the quick glances.

They were always, unintentionally, looking for each other. Searching for the tan trenchcoat or the green jacket. Dark brown or sand blonde hair.

But they never spoke about it.

Not even when Dean thought he had seen Castiel in a dream.

Only it hadn't been a dream.

Castiel liked to stay in Dean's room and watch him sleep for a little while, admiring his soft features, only shown while unconcious. Sometimes, when the hunter had nightmares, he would softly hum an enochian lullaby to let him rest and the man in the bed would quickly fall back into a peaceful sleep.

He even dared to get close enough tove his hair from his eyes once. Since then he hadn't returned. What Castiel though was a deep sleep hadn't really been that deep. Dean cracked his eyes open, only a fraction, but enough to recognise the silhouette standing above him.

"Cas?" his voice was a little hoarse from sleeping.

Castiel stood still. The hunter rubbed his eyes and when he opened them again the angel was gone. He would think it had been a dream; and he would never know it had been real.

Castiel felt fear, and decided to run away rather than stay and talk to him. He couldn't face him. Not when his hammering heart made him feel deaf and his lungs felt so constricted he could barely breathe. Why _he,_ of all people, was feeling this way? He had a vague idea. But it was most likely to be an unrequited feeling. So, he fled.

Since then Dean started thinking more and more about the angel with the blue eyes and the trenchcoat. He would turn around looking for him when he heard anything that sounded like he had arrived. He denied it to himself at first. He shouldn't be thinking this much about the guy. But slowly it had seeped into his mind, and slowly it had rained down on his heart.

He felt something for Cas.

He hid it from his brother and the angel. He even tried to persuade himself of forgetting about Castiel with girls at bars and porn on the TV, but his heart just wouldn't listen. Everything always came back to ocean blue eyes and dishelved dark hair.

Weeks later the trio found themselves sitting at a table in the bunker. A map stretched out on the center, a few books on the side and Sam's laptop on a corner.

"We have a lead on the Ellington case," Sam said.

"What is it, Sammy?"

"Well, apparently the vampire nest we found the other day is associated with a group of demons. These demons have a base in Omaha, and if the symbols I found are correct, they are working for a stronger demon."

"I have recieved similar information from my brothers. They plan on attacking the base in three days," Cas said, sitting straighter.

"Great. Then maybe we should get there before they do."

"Do you even have a plan Dean?" Sam asked.

"I don't think that's wise," added Castiel. "I suggest we stay here until it is done."

"Until what is done?" Dean asked.

"The extermination of the demons and its leader."

"So, we'll just leave those dicks all the fun, huh?"

Sam and Castiel exchanged glances and turned their heads towards Dean. He had a grin on his face and something crazy in his eyes.

"Alright," Sam sighed. "What's your plan?"

Two days later they were in Omaha, Nebraska. They arrived at the neighborhood where the demon's base was. The smell of burnt meat lingered on the air.

Sam had stayed behind. He called Garth from the motel, asking for information on out-of-the-ordinary events in Omaha during the past two weeks.

Dean and Castiel stood next to each other. Walking closer they found the source of the bitter smell. At least ten demons lay dead on the cold, wet grass of a house's backyard, their eyes burnt out.

"They know we are here," stated Cas, slowly looking around.

"They were supposed to come tomorrow!" Dean carefully stepped nearer to the bodies on the ground.

"They are coming now," a well known british accent said behind them.

"Hello, boys," Crowley smirked. "Where's Moose, Squirrel?"

"Crowley," Dean said. "Who's coming now?"

"The angels and the great demon," responded Cas.

"Right you are, Cas," Crowley said. He looked down at his smitten demons and sighed dramatically. "Well, I must dash. Send my regards to Moose," and with a wink the King of Hell was gone.

"Damn it. Now what?" Dean asked.

"We should leave as well. What's going to happen right here is not good," Cas said.

"What...?"

The question wasn't finished. A bright light appeared before them, as one of the archangels from Heaven, and a swirl of black -almost purple- smoke. The ringing got louder, it was almost unbearable for Dean. Castiel watched as the beings started to fight and took Dean by the arm, getting them both out of the backyard and back on the main street.

Together they watched lighting crashing on the backyard. A deafening thunder struck then, and the high-pitched sound from before intensified. A wave of heat hit them and suddenly there was an explosion expanding from the house. The rush of hot air made their coats fly around them, all the leaves from the trees threatening to fall.

"CAS! GET US OUT OF HERE!" Dean shouted over the ringing in his ears. Cas looked back at him, and Dean had never seen such pain on his face.

"I can't," he answered. He didn't scream, but his voice was strong and clear on Dean's ears.

"WHY CAN'T YOU?!" Dean got closer to the angel.

"The angels have created a barrier that prevents the demon from escaping. They plan on destroying the whole neighborhood. Just like that one time you stopped Uriel and me from doing it... We can't get out."

Dean watched helplessly as Castiel returned his gaze to the oncoming flare. His chest tightened as one thought invaded his mind.

"WHAT ABOUT SAM?"

"He's safe. He's out of harm's way, I promise," Cas said. A sigh escaped the hunter's lips.

A stronger wave of hot air reached them and almost pushed them back. They tried covering their faces with their hands, failing miserably. The fire and the light were getting closer. If this was the end and there was something Dean could do to at least make it all a bit better, that was the right time to do it. And so he did the only thing that felt right.

He took hold of one of Castiel's hands.

Castiel turned his face to Dean, surprise evident in his eyes, and then looked down at their clasped hands. A single tear escaped his eye. Dean felt his heart drop at the sight.

"Cas..." Dean started, whispering now. Somehow he knew Castiel could hear him just fine over the noise. But he was interrupted by the sudden explosion of the trees standing along the sidewalk.

They covered what they could of their faces with their other arms, not letting go. Then an invisible light bulb flickered on above Cas' head; and it was all just so clear, just so precious. Without a word the angel extended his free arm and gripped Dean's, feeling their bond stronger than ever. Now they were face to face. Almost like syncronized dancers they moved at the same time, closing the space between them and embracing the other. Together they fell on their knees, not letting go. Never letting go.

Castiel's intentions were revealed then. His wings broke free of their hiding spell and appeared black and dark blue on Cas' back. Dean felt a rush of fresh air and opened his eyes... And saw nothing. Beautiful black feathers enveloped him; as soft as silk. He could feel the strenght of the wings protecting him from the explosion. He shut his eyes again and hugged Cas tighter than before, feeling him tense when the small space became hotter from the outside fire.

Minutes later everything was quiet, only the soft crackling of dying fire remained. A small whimper left Castiel's lips as his wings uncovered Dean. They spent another minute just breathing with their eyes closed, still holding on to each other. Slowly, and reluctantly, they stood. It was a good thing that Dean was still close to Castiel, for just a second later the angel collapsed on the hunter's arms with a pained cry.

"Cas! What's wrong?" Dean tried to get him to stand, but the pain wouldn't let him.

"I-I need-"

"What? What do you need, Cas? Tell me. Please, tell me," Dean was taking most of Cas' weight and led them both to sit back on the dirt and ashes that covered the concrete street.

"Just a minute. I need a minute to- to adjust," Cas said as he leaned on Dean and followed him down. He felt the hot gravel under his hands.

"What did you just do?" Dean said, after realising he was intact. No burns, no pain.

When Castiel didn't respond Dean turned to find him with his eyes closed and breathing laboriously. Castiel opened his eyes then, and there was pain, but it was well hidden behind a layer of tenderness. He cocked his head to the side, like he always did, and smiled slightly.

"The explosion was made with a special kind of holy oil. It won't kill an angel, but will pretty much kill anything else. I used my wings to protect you, but there is only so much they can take," with that he brought out only the shadows of his wings, and Dean inhaled sharply when he saw what had happened. Cas' wings were almost featherless, there were a few barely hanging from the cartilage. Some were even incomplete, burnt by the heavenly fire.

"Cas, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. This is all my fault. Had I listened to you none of this would've happened. You would-," Dean stopped himself and looked at the diminished wings again. How could he have caused this? Another dissapointment to add to the never-ending list. "You would still have your wings. They... They were beautiful. I didn't have the time to say it. Please, forgive me," and he lowered his head and his sight, feeling like the worst abomination to walk the earth. He made an angel lose his wings.

Castiel looked at him curiously. There was something so pure about this human. It had been the angel's choice entirely, yet the hunter felt responsible for the outcome. Castiel extended his arm and brushed Dean's cheek gently with his fingers, then lifted his head so he could look at him in the eye.

"Dean Winchester, don't you ever feel responsible for a choice I make. There is nothing to forgive, for you have already been forgiven. I knew the consecuences, and I would do that and more to keep you safe. And yes, it is painful, but it's worth it. You are worth it, although you think otherwise," and he placed his hand back on Dean's cheek.

Dean closed his eyes and leaned in to the touch. He felt so cherished, so loved. And then he remembered who was caressing him and speaking to him with tender words. That angel he had tried so hard not to fall in love with.

And he couldn't help it. He was so close, it was so intimate. There was no one there to see. He opened his eyes again and saw all the love the angel's eyes contained. His angel. He closed the space between them carefully, waiting for Cas to deny him, but he didn't. Hell, he even got a little closer. Maybe Castiel felt something for him too. Both of them had fallen for the other so many times and in so many ways, but they hadn't known. Their noses touched and for a moment they were alone in the world, their foreheads together, connecting them in ways words can't. Breathing in, breathing out. Surprisingly for Dean, Castiel moved first. Their lips brushed, shy at first, but gaining confidence as the kiss improved. Dean placed his hand on the back of Cas' neck, pulling him closer. The other hand grabing the dirty trenchcoat. Both of Castiel's hands now held Dean's face. They broke apart, needing to breathe. But there was a genuine smile on both their faces no evil would be able to erase.

They stood up and looked around them, the place was a complete mess, but just as Heaven had sent someone to wipe the place from any living creature they would send someone else to clean up their desaster.

And hand in hand they left back the place of nightmares and dreams.

The angel and his hunter.

The hunter and his angel.


End file.
